Gloomy Sunday
by angelsinstead
Summary: In this story John and Blair are married and she had just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?   Song Fic, creepy and eerie.
1. Slumberless Hours

AUTHOR'S NOTE ::: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. In this story John and Blair are married and she had just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?

I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

*~The Lyrics~*

Sunday is Gloomy,  
>My hours are slumberless,<br>Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless,  
>Little white flowers will never awaken you.<p>

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you,  
>Angels have no thought of ever returning you.<br>Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?  
>Gloomy Sunday.<p>

Sunday is gloomy,  
>with shadows I spend it all.<br>My heart and I have decided to end it all.  
>Soon there'll be flowers and prayers that are sad,<br>I know, let them not weep,  
>Let them know that I'm glad to go.<p>

Death is no dream,  
>For in death I'm caressing you.<br>With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you.  
>Gloomy Sunday.<p>

Dreaming,  
>I was only dreaming.<br>I wake and I find you,  
>Asleep in the deep of,<br>My heart,  
>Dear.<p>

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you,  
>My heart is telling you how much I wanted you,<br>Gloomy Sunday.

~by Sarah McLachlan

*~Slumberless Hours ~*

"Sunday is Gloomy.  
>My hours are slumberless.<br>Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless.  
>Little white flowers will never awaken you..."<p>

~Lyrics by Sarah McLachlan

Blair had not slept in many long, excruciating hours. The man she loved was dead, killed by a bullet. His job had been a dangerous one, and in the end, it had taken him from her. Her soul had become crushed in knowing she would never see John again. Never again would he hold her in his arms and gently kiss her lips. He was gone. When death had come, it was all over.

How would she go on without him, the man that had finally revived her heart and had made her so happy? After all she had gone through with Todd, Eli, and the many other failed relationships she had endured over the years, it had been John who had came along to sweep her off her feet and they had shared something phenomenal. Now it was all gone. The pain Blair felt in her deepest heart was suffocating.

She had to be strong, courageous for her children, but she found herself in a constant state of melancholy. She couldn't just "snap out of it." She was lost now, unable to awaken from the horror of that one tragic moment, the one when she had been told her husband was never again coming home.

She went to the funeral home as now she must plan the inevitable. How do you say good-bye to your very heart? She picked the music, the flowers, and all the details of the most painful event she could ever imagine. Left alone in a room of sorrow, her eyes caught on a small bouquet of little white flowers all tied together in a royal-blue bow.

With a tired heart, Blair's eyes caught upon the fragrant bouquet. "John, I never wanted this... I only wanted you," she whispered, tears rushing from her sleepless eyes. This couldn't be real, could it? She only wanted to take it back; for John to come walking through that door to say, 'I'm sorry, darling. I'm here and I'll never leave you again.' But no... it wasn't to be. He wasn't coming back. Death was forever.


	2. The Black Coach of Sorrow

AUTHOR'S NOTE ::: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. In this story John and Blair are married and she had just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?

I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

*~The Lyrics~*

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you,  
>Angels have no thought of ever returning you.<br>Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?  
>Gloomy Sunday.<p>

Somehow Blair made it through all the funeral plans, her mind in a fog. "What kind of casket would you like?" asked the funeral home manager. Did it really matter? It would be buried under the earth, John inside. Her heart wrenching, she said the one thing she hoped John would like.

"He loved black. We'll take something in black," Blair said softly, all the color drained from her face. She looked as pale as death herself. Maybe she should order dual caskets; make it a double funeral? Why should she stay, when her heart was gone?

She should be strong for her children, but she could not be. What good would she be to them now? All their mother did was cry incessantly and long to be with John. "Excuse me, Mrs. McBain, we must get the body ready for burial now," spoke the funeral home manager, breaking Blair out of her dark thoughts.

As she stood there, looking tragic, she realized he wasn't coming back. John would NEVER return to her. Death was forever.

Quietly, Blair walked away. She would go home now and contemplate her future; what little of it remained. If John would not return to her, perhaps that meant she should go to him.


	3. Do Not Weep

AUTHOR'S NOTE ::: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. In this story John and Blair are married and she had just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?

I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

*~The Lyrics~*

Sunday is gloomy,  
>with shadows I spend it all.<br>My heart and I have decided to end it all.  
>Soon there'll be flowers and prayers that are sad,<br>I know, let them not weep,  
>Let them know that I'm glad to go.<p>

Blair went home and sat down at her desk, composing a message for her family; Dorian, her mother, and her children. She was telling them all good-bye.

"Please don't weep for me," she wrote. "Death will welcome me into it's embrace, and then finally I can be with John." Ohhh John! She missed him so much, her heart was aching.

She set the message down on her desk, under a bouquet of red roses and then crossed the floor to the window. Now she must contemplate the method of death. She thought about taking pills, but that seemed like the coward's way. And what if the pills didn't do the job, and she became some sort of comatose vegetable, dependant upon her family? No, there had to be a more fool-proof method. She walked to the safe and withdrew John's shiny black gun.

Yes, she would die just as he had gone, by a bullet. Standing in the shadows, she thought about her family. She could see little Sam, comforted in her mother's arms. "Don't let them cry for me. I want to go," she said in a sad, little whisper.

Taking the gun into her hand, Blair walked quietly into the bathroom.


	4. My Last Breath

AUTHOR'S NOTE ::: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. In this story John and Blair are married and she had just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?

I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

*~The Lyrics~*

Death is no dream,  
>For in death I'm caressing you.<br>With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you.  
>Gloomy Sunday.<p>

*~My Last Breath~*

She had almost died here once before, nearly bleeding to death after Powell Lord's vicious attack. This time she vowed there would be nothing that could save her. She'd be glad to die; to find that sweet reprieve which was known as blessed peace.

Sitting down upon the smooth tiles of the bathroom floor, she clutched the ebony gun in her hand. *I'll be with you soon, John,* she whispered in her mind as she gazed upon the deadly weapon. A gun, much like this one, had taken her husband's life. It seemed fitting that she too would go in the same manner.

"I love you," she spoke as she thought of John. She couldn't wait to see him now, to hold him and kiss him once again. Death had come as a thief, taking the man she loved too soon. She could not think of those she would leave behind for this time, death would be a blessing.

"Mommy, I need you," a little voice called out. Scanning the bathroom, she found it was only her mind playing tricks on her. Sam wasn't home. The little boy who loved Spiderman and playing in the pool wasn't home right now. Blair was all alone in the house, and it was time to say farewell.

"Good bye, Sam," Blair said softly, taking the gun and raising it to her temple. Death was coming now, and she would welcome it. When it opened up it's arms to her, she would run into them willingly.

"John, I'm coming..." she murmured and in that same instant she had pulled the trigger.

Moments, memories, and joyful times filtered through her mind until that last second; that very last one which had stole her breath away. And in that sweet, blessed instant, all the pain was gone.  
> <p>


	5. Haunting Dream

AUTHOR'S NOTE ::: This story is based off the hit soap One Life to Live, yet the "history" has been changed somewhat to suit the purposes of this story. In this story John and Blair are married, and she has just recently received word that her husband is dead... or has she?

I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

*~The Lyrics~*

Dreaming,  
>I was only dreaming.<br>I wake and I find you,  
>Asleep in the deep of,<br>My heart,  
>Dear.<p>

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you,  
>My heart is telling you how much I wanted you,<br>Gloomy Sunday.

*~Haunting Dream~*

The gun went off and everything shattered. And for a moment, it had all exploded into nothingness. Only thing remained : her awareness of being. Is this what death was supposed to feel like? No! It couldn't be. Her heart beat frantically in her chest, and her breath was coming in sharp, desperate gasps.

"John!" she called out, shooting straight up in the bed. Lying next to her in the quiet darkness was her husband, held safe in his dreams. Tears filled her eyes when she realized, it had been just a dream. All of it. The most terrible, painful dream she had ever experienced, but a dream no less. He wasn't dead! John was safe here, lying beside her in their bed.

"Baby, what is it?" John whispered, reaching out to her and pulling her into the comfort of his embrace.

"A dream. A horrible dream. But it seemed sooo real," she murmured as she pressed her face against the beating of his heart.

"Dreams can be brutal," he said quietly as he kissed away her tears. "But everything's alright now. I'm here."

In that moment Blair had found all she had ever wanted. Settling herself into his arms, her heart had found peace again.

THE END

(A/N: The lyrics throughout this story are from the song "Gloomy Sunday" as preformed by Sarah McLachlan) 


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